Touch.

I remember each finger that fit so perfectly with mine.

The white noise. The dreams, the gentle movements as we slept so peacefully.

I remember sleeping with a body that felt missing. 

I remember the void.

I remember chills as skin upon skin, we loved. 

The deep color in those eyes. 

I remember car doors and yellow lights like the color of the sun when our smile's lit up the room like a white snowy day at the beginning of January.

I remember the alarms that I never woke up to and the smells that made my soul feel so alive. 

I remember the flowers. So colorful like love notes from the soul that wilted so deeply throughout time.

It reminded me of the heart. 

Each painful beat that seem to never end with every aching second. Every aching head ache, every mention of the relentless 3 worded phrase. 

It reminds me of death. 

and how I've never wanted to die alone.

& those flowers. 

that i've never got myself to throw away.